The One With Adding and Subtracting Habits

Over the past few months, I've accepted many things in my life for what they are at the moment....not for an end result like I will be stuck here forever.

At the risk of feeling completely exposed I'm trying to make 2014 the year I work really hard to make positive changes to my life because 2013 really soured my attitude for everything. I had such a tunnel vision focus on where I wanted my future to go I literally couldn't just sit still and savor the moments I had available to me. I was always the one who seemed to make logical and intuitive decisions (I'm the "rare" INFJ personality) but somehow I lost my way. Everyone else around me did the things most young adults do: get married after graduation, find a job, have a baby (not all in the listed order)...except me. I'm not married-or have any prospects at the moment-, I don't have a job yet, but I'm also not currently responsible for a baby or another life. I love kids of any age, and someday I will have my own family. I think the last year was the universe's way of telling me I need to get my own life together and be secure in myself before anything else happens.

People tell me half the battle of figuring out where you're going in life is eliminating the things you don't want/don't need. I've given up trying to communicate with certain people who obviously don't care about my presence in their life. I don't need the extra emotional stress of *why hasn't_____ called me back?* or *I wonder if _____ really meant what he/she said?* If someone is meant to be a part of my life for a long duration then they won't just be "fair weather friends" or only around with their hands out when I have time and energy to give. Any relationship or friendship is a two way street. Remember that, folks. 
I've eliminated junk food, for the most part. I haven't had a fast food burger, pop, Taco Bell, in...a long time. I don't really miss any of it either. Based on the recent break out area of my face (which won't go away no matter what I try) I'm also considering a dairy free diet for a while, until my system works itself out. Hmm...
I'm not Catholic, but every year I've been at AQ (and beyond) I have observed the Lent season by giving up something, and adding something to my life. I gave up negativity. because it just makes me more angry and inwardly volatile to certain people in my life now. It's still a battle when I'm living in a less than ideal environment. I've had my slip ups, but even then, I have to remember their issues are NOT mine and this season is a season, not an ultimate destination. It will get better, if I have the support or not.  I've added clean eating and more exercise. Jumping rope inside is hard with low ceilings, but it works for a couple minutes of cardio. I'm also stretching more through yoga and various relaxation techniques. I like healthy foods and LOTS of water too, and those combined with random detox methods have made me feel so much better from the inside out. I have a goal weight in my head but it's just a number. It doesn't define what's in my soul.

I feel like focusing on the good...and clinging hard to my renewed optimism will make things happen. My life right now is far from where I want it to be....but I know I'm putting in the effort to change it and the right opportunities just haven't shown me where I'm meant to be yet. I'm reminded of "The Secret". Thoughts become things, and the things will appear in their right timing.

The One With the Favorites

It's only human to admit I have some guilty pleasures...and I also find comfort in some of life's simple things. Since I uploaded a bunch of random pictures from my phone, it seems like a good idea to place them here in a post of some of my favorite things.They don't have a particular order of importance but each brings a smile to face, joy & peace into my heart, and somehow makes my life a little better for a moment. So, take a peek at some tangible soul soothers for yours truly:



I love AQ

                                                                                                                                                             <---I love candy. in moderation. Picked up a bag of Birthday Cake M&Ms and they're SO good!...almost as indulgent as their cousins, the Peanut Butter M&Ms. (I said almost!) Fun fact: Milk Duds make my movie experience complete, and I'm all about enjoying Jelly Belly beans... too many favorites to list.

 I love the world of academia. Aquinas College is a dear to my heart because it was my home for 4 years and is a gorgeous campus any time of year. Shout out to my alma mater!! 

<--- I love baking, especially brownies. Some people know them as "crack brownies" because they're basically sinfully delicious, and come in handy when I want to make Friday nights in law school worth enduring. It's the least I could do as I sit and run the projector for a class I don't normally have to be in :)                     

 The reason behind my brownies for hungry law students------> (and faithfully assisting the professor)is I believe in doing nice things for people because it's good for the soul, &you never know who is watching the good deeds...

 Cats and horses are by far my favorite animals on the planet. 

Miss her always <3

<----Sassy was my beloved companion for all 17 years of her life. I miss her every day, and there will never be another feline like her.
R.I.P.


Chippy is always eager for treats here on the farm.

<--- Sushi (and Chinese) makes me happy when I feel the need to eat my feelings. Ming Ten specifically is the best place in Grand Rapids for such occasion. I might be a little biased though, as it has been my go-to place for years.

<--- Michigan sunsets are so pretty, and if caught at the right moment, appear to be painted with a superbly skilled watercolor artist. They also hold the promise of a brighter tomorrow, in my personal opinion!

Pomegranate cider candle

My favorite of all the seasons is fall. Aside from my birthday in September, it means the foliage brings a whole new set of natural wonder. Added bonuses: Hot apple cider, hoodie & jeans weather, crisp air, corn mazes, great sleeping weather. Ahhh....just perfect.  I also love candles in a few different scents, it's girly of me but SO worth it! 


<---It's also the perfect time to curl up under a   cozy fleece blanket, like my personal favorite  pictured here. I <3 tie knot blankets...and the  color purple :)

My jams - also in purple :)

<---And here we have class act Luke Bryan. Country music took its sweet time to grow on me, but now certain artists in this genre (Florida Georgia Line, Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, etc) hold many memories for me, and relax my reeling mind.  Shout out to Joshy : THANK YOU  for replacing my beloved MP3 player after the original went for a swim in the washer... oops!

Reed's Lake--summertime

To close out my favorite things (for the moment)....Reed's Lake holds many memories for me. I'm no stranger to chatting away on a bench at Collin's Park with my beloved friend Timmy, sipping green tea lemonades in the summer, and warm drinks in the cooler months. It's beautiful (and peaceful!) part of the city, and Gaslight Village is somewhat of a movie set atmosphere.

My heart is happier and my mind more at ease just thinking about a few of my favorite things.... <3



                                     

The One With at Least Two Words

Every once in a while I find a Facebook gem (of sorts).  Recently, I saw a post with what might be a really cool exercise to try...see what comes out. 

 

I think it might be an example of my optimistic side if I share some of the first phrases I came up with.  They struck me as so simple... yet powerful at the same time.  In no particular order the Top 10 list is:

 

* move forward

 

* have hope

 

* smile now

 

* no regrets

 

* reach higher

 

* stay genuine

 

* don't panic

 

* have faith

 

* love yourself

 

* live well

 

 

The words above aren't meant to have explanations attached to them. I know exactly the points in my life where I needed them for reference and anyone reading can probably apply the same to their own situations. Certain events I've experienced within the past  weeks have made me realize a few things. 1) How I feel about myself is a personal viewpoint and I cannot let what others say or perceive dictate how I'm supposed to feel. 2)  I am my own person and a fully functioning, educated, individual. 3) Laughter and companionship aren't just tangible things, they're meaningful.

 

I can't really explain the changes I've felt within the past few months but I feel different than I did even before Christmas. My circumstances really haven't changed (yet), I just haven't given myself enough credit as to what I have already accomplished and it occurred to me: I drastically lost any hope for whatever my future holds.  Now, I'm finding faith in myself again.  I am a unique breed of person (if you genuinely know me you know what I'm talking about).Once I make up my mind about something one way or the other...there isn't any point in changing it. So the people in my life have to choices: either step aside or jump on my trolley and come with. It's a very black and white approach but it's true. I don't hold anyone's hand to a burner forcing them to stand by me, nor do I expect anyone to fight tooth and nail to keep me alongside them. The right people are worth the struggle, through the bad times, and the reality checks. The right people will find a way to stay regardless of the season.  Even if I ask for advice or guidance, chances are I've already made somewhat of a decision and I only ask because I respect input from those I value in my life. I heard this pearl of wisdom yesterday: trust the process, no matter what happens. I really need to remember it. Someday (even though I don't want to admit it now) I will look back and genuinely understand how everything--good, horrible, mediocre, from this current season of my life--- was  really a series of stepping stones. I refuse to change my personal beliefs. I refuse to settle in life.

 

I refuse to let the rejections or seemingly insurmountable amount stress make me a victim  anymore than situations already have.