It's been a while since I wrote anything down on this little page of mine...so here I am.
I cleaned my car out the other day, since it was 85+ degrees and the day before the moon roof was open all night...and yes, it down poured for most of the night. It soaked the seat covers and nearly destroyed my precious radio. Thankfully, all is well and cleaned out. I even found a cheap pina colada air freshener to freshen up the buggy. After a couple days of the can opened to the lowest setting in a small car closed off (not driven)...it was a whole lotta colada, let me tell you. Haha
Lately I seem to be a happier person as a whole and compared to where I was in life towards the end of January I have a whole new outlook. My pseudo Lent sacrifice was actually really good for unclogging all the crap swimming around in my head. I rarely have any negative voices whispering in my head now....and it's hard to explain but I feel free (at least more so than I'm used to feeling the past year or so). You could say it's more at peace up there and I am so excited to feel the calm again.
I've also hovering near the 12 lb weight loss mark on the scale, which doesn't sound like much but I'm content with the progression after a few weeks. I walk almost every day anywhere from 5-7 miles at a time and a full 45 mins of yoga before I even lace up my shoes to go outside. When I walk my head clears and I just focus on the lyrics/ beats of the music on my head phones. It feels good and I keep track of how many laps (1 full lap up and down the drive way here = 1 mile) by a pen mark on the inside of my left hand, also when I stop for a swig of water. Oh, and I smile into the sun....especially today when I walked 7 miles straight.
Physically my hair is much lighter blonde than it was a couple months ago and I have my seasonal freckles popping up on my nose and cheeks.People don't usually believe I am 25 (26 this fall!) and having the freckles makes me appear even further from my actual age. I look in the mirror and smile now, because the sparkle in my eye is starting to show a little brighter. For the longest time I didn't recognize the reflection because it looked so hollow and soul-less...but I'm finding my way now. Mentally, I feel like I've reclaimed my self control...or at least my power thoughts. I don't eat anything between dinner and breakfast, which was easier to get used to than I thought. Instead I switch between dandelion root tea (for digestion and water weight loss) and home made green tea lemonade without the sugar, or just lots of spa water.
Realistically I'm not sure where I will end up with the resumes I'm still sending out...but I found peace where I am at the moment. I am taking better care of myself and doing what I can with the time and space I have in front of me now. A new season will come where I find my job and I will transition again....but realize now the key is to accept "what is" knowing in your heart of hearts you're working ever so gradually in the right direction.
And...if you need some inspiration, this video will bring you to tears...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSO4Q5Yf6LQ
I've watched it many times as I continue forward. It's a reminder to keep going no matter what. Forward <3
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